How to Find Joy in Three Easy Steps
A warm Santa Ana breeze lifted the hair from my face and neck. The skies clear of smoke for the first time in weeks. Bare feet on the ground. I took an expansive breath and felt joy.
The outside world continuing on imperfect, rumblings of frustration, disquietude, and angst at the uncertainty of each passing moment.
“This joy lives within and cannot be found through anything outside oneself.
When one has divine joy, the joy remains despite any difficult outward circumstances.” (source: anada.org)
As mental health declines due to prolonged social distance during the COVID-19 pandemic, please join me in shining a light and taking a look in the opposite direction. For most of us, right now, in the tail end of this messy, crazy, uncomfortable and unpredictable 2020 joy is possible.
I know because I’ve mostly been feeling and residing in it all year.
What is joy?
Goofy, wacky, over the top ridiculous? Sometimes yes, if you’re fully present and engaged in the feeling of it without shame or guilt.
Most of the time joy is an abiding, deep calm running through the cells of your being in full awareness of all of life – not only the good but the difficult, uncomfortable circumstances present in both your personal life and the world at large.
Appreciation is the root of joy.
When you can go into your heart and feel within your being true appreciation you enter through the gateway to joy.
The Cambridge English dictionary defines appreciation as “the act of recognizing or understanding that something is valuable.”
This recognition can be incredibly profound, such as in the birth of a child, exhilarating like catching the perfect wave after years of practice and pursuit, or simple and quiet like standing barefoot on your porch feeling the warm fall breeze caress your skin.
What matters is that you excavate deep within your own inner wisdom to know what is of value to you and worthy of your appreciation.
The path to this self-knowledge and awareness is slow. You’ve got to stop rushing blindly through your days not seeing, hearing, or tasting anything. “Stop and smell the roses” is true.
Step 1:
Notice nature.
This is the physical surrounding of the outdoors. The sky, sun, and moon as they rise and fall through their eternal patterns. It’s the animals, insects and plants. There is always some piece of nature available to you.
Go outside. Pause. Stand still. Look around you. Notice.
What aspects of nature can you see?
Choose one and hone in on it. Take a deep breath. Engage.
Look – tell yourself what you see.
Listen – tell yourself what you hear.
Perhaps smell – tell your self about the scents or aromas that come to you.
Maybe touch – are you able to reach out and feel the ground, your cat, the petals on a flower or the bark of tree? Notice the texture and sensations.
Step 2:
Be amazed by nature.
What is amazing, incredible, wonderous, beautiful, valuable or awe inspiring about what you see?
Take a deep breath. Go slow. You have time.
Appreciate that nature is always there, always continuing onward in beauty, complexity, and simplicity. Always available for you to take in and find joy.
Whether it’s the ocean, the desert, or the sky right outside your door, nature is always there for your joy.
Step 3:
Honor human creation.
Humans are nature, too. It is easy with our big ol’ brains to forget that we are as much a part of nature and the universe as a tree, a duck, the grass growing, and the ebb and flow of cycles and rhythms on earth. And yet we are. All humans are a vital, valuable part of nature and therefore, so too are our creations.
Humans create to satisfy and soothe their own internal itches and callings.
But the Universe is on to something….
The impulses sent to create benefit those who choose to interact with and appreciate the creation.
Creation comes in many forms – art, song, technology, communications, and more.
When you slow down and really take in what humans have created, it’s astounding. Everything from a meal to the gas pump that fills your car was created by humans.
Take pause. Look around your environment. How many objects fill your home or work place add true value to your life?
Take a deep breath.
Appreciate not only the creation, but the human who created it, even if you don’t know them nor ever will.
Here are two brief stories of appreciation and a BONUS!
The first is a tale of art.
I was recently on vacation at Disney World. There is a most amazing castle that guards the entrance to Fantasy Land. As we entered the archway with other guests, most were hurrying through to their destination blind to the beauty that surrounded them. For on the walls of the castle were enormous mosaics.
Each depicting a familiar fairy tale. But what was astounding was the knowledge that these were made by human hands for our enjoyment. Someone had to design and craft the layout, the image, the colors, and hand cut and lay each individual tile. We stood for a moment, went slow, and took in each and every work of art.
Mural inside Cinderella’s Castle at Walt Disney World.
It was awe inspiring. We were calm, unhurried, and in a place of balance. Our destination would be there when we arrived. We were able to take in and really see and appreciate this moment, these works of art that other humans created out of their drive to create and yet the benefit was our ability to take it in.
Affirmation: My destination will be there when I arrive. I have time to appreciate my surroundings.
We live on the opposite coast from Disney World, needing to take two planes and a bus to get there. When was the last time you appreciated the ballet of an airport?
Every time I travel, I am in awe and wonder at how much goes on to make my trip possible. The coordination of planes, ground crews, fuel, cleaning, food and water, flight personnel, and everything that happens in the terminal to get me to my gate on time.
It’s awe-inspiring and mind blowing when I take pause and appreciate the human ingenuity of air travel and how far this industry has developed in order to get me to my destination safely every single time.
Affirmation: People are incredible creators. I give myself permission to appreciate what they have done for my benefit.
Bonus!
Express your appreciation.
Say out loud things like, “That is a beautiful flower and it smells amazing”, “Those storm clouds racing across the sky are incredible and awe-inspiring”, “I love the sound of birdsong as I stand here and breathe.”
This simple task helps draw your attention toward the object of your appreciation and joy, which helps to bring in more of the same.
Whenever possible, tell someone who has made a valuable impact on your life how they helped. Whether it’s in person, a reply to an email from someone who’s work touches you, or a comment on a blog that made a difference for you, elevating others ultimately makes US feel good. Recognizing someone else’s creations and how they benefit the world, again, teaches your mind to seek out and pay attention to that which brings you joy, ultimately calling in more joy effortlessly and with ease.
Telling the people in your life how much you value them elevates your joy.
There are many pathways and techniques that lead to joy. You’re invited for the next 30 days to try these three simple steps and the bonus each day.
Slow down, friend. Take a deep breath. Look around and allow appreciation to unlock the gateway to your joy.