My Latest A-Ha Moment
My latest a-ha moment occurred in late October. I haven't written about it yet because I'm having a hard time knowing where to start and how much "back story" to add in for it to make sense with out writing a book. (side note: someone recently told me they would read a book if I wrote one, it's tempting!) What I've decided to do here is just describe the moment of the a-ha for now. This magical, divine experience occurred during my last class at the annual Ojai Yoga Crib. The class was being taught by one of my new favorite instructors, Saul David Raye. There was live music by Sean Johnson and the Wild Lotus Band, another of my new favorites. Both of these instructors are strongly influenced and teach a style of yoga known as Bhakti yoga. This is the yoga of love and devotion.
It was a small miracle that I was even in this class. It had been a long several days away from home and I was feeling ready to leave Ojai early. After discussing this option with my fabulous Hubby, I decided to stay for the last class.
I'm not sure how long class had been going on for, but I do know we were in the middle section somewhere, doing standing poses and flowing and moving with the rhythm of the music and listening to the inspirational instruction from Saul. There we about 80 yogis in the room and the energy was connected and joyous.
I had a striking moment of clarity. I felt more than I thought, "There is an abundance of love in this room." It was like a lightening bolt from the Universe went right into my heart. In understood in that moment that there is not only an abundance of love in that room in that moment, but that the Universe is always providing an abundance of love. All we need to do is choose to tap into it. I knew that I was loved, I knew that love was never ending, I knew that I could share and send this love out to others and be safe, I knew that I was surrounded by love all the time...from my cats and dogs, my amazing Hubby, my students and my friends. I knew that love was never going away.
Immediately following that sensation, I had a brief moment of grief. I stopped my standing pose flow and settled into child's pose as the wave a grief washed through me. The grief was partly that I had forgotten this truth and partly that I had never known it for real, in my heart.
The grief passed and I felt more safe and taken care of than I ever had in my life. There is an abundance of love. The only thing to do in this life is act from a place of love, to infuse every large and small act with love, because there is a never ending supply of it for me and for everyone else.
Love is such a small word for so many different types of love that I was afraid to use this word with anyone other than my lover, my Hubby. I learned that it is safe and wonderful and satisfying to say I love you to my pets, my friends, my students and that there can be different types of love, even though we only have this small word to express huge and varying emotions.
I am loved and you are loved. Now and forever. I love you. Thanks for reading my blog. XO